From Complex.com
John Cho and Kal Penn smoked their comedic competitors as Harold and Kumar. Now they’re back for another hit. Puff, puff, pass? Nah-puff, puff, puff… By Gabriel Alvarez
Photographs by Piotr Sikora
Styling By Anoma Ya Whittaker
Regardless of the similarities, or differences, one thing is certain: Both are hilarious, with talent to spare. So grab yourself a fat sack-of White Castles!-and listen up.
Kal, the first question is-
John Cho: Why are you supporting Mitt Romney for President? He’s an evil Mormon.Kal Penn: [Laughs] Wow, you’re startin’ out that way?
So what were your lives like before the autographs, limos, and red-carpet events?
Kal Penn: John doesn’t ride limos; he rides a horse, which is a fact.John Cho: Yep. I roll up on a horse to premieres, a white horse. And sometimes I have them mount a horn on the head of the horse. And I ride it nude, wearing a very long wig.
But really, was it difficult at the beginning of your acting careers?
John Cho: Both of us are actors of color, so there’s special hurdles that you have to overcome early on.Kal Penn: I think for every actor, regardless of their background, it’s tough to start out. But I think when the opportunities are even further limited by race or ethnicity, it’s even harder to get your foot in the door. But certainly Harold & Kumar has opened doors for both of us.
Have you guys based any of the personalities of these characters on any real people?
Kal Penn: Kumar is partially based on one of my best friends from college, who helped me understand how a guy could be sitting around completely naked for no reason. You come home from class and he’s just sitting there, and you wonder: at what point did you remove your clothes and decide that it was OK for you to sit there completely naked, possibly for hours, without even laying a towel down on the couch? That’s just the kind of guy he is. He just doesn’t care. He’s awesome. It’s that sort of carefree side to him that I used a little bit in Kumar.John Cho: I don’t think I channeled anybody in particular. I actually was thinking of a lot of like classic [comedic] straight guys, Tom Hanks kind of guys. But I didn’t particularly do any research, because I was very lazy.
How often do fans refer to you as Harold and Kumar in public?
John Cho: Every time we leave the house. This movie is a bit like a disease, and it’s infected the nation.Do you have any snappy comebacks for people who call you Harold and Kumar at a time you don’t want to be bothered?
John Cho: [Funny voice] “Leave me alone, serf.”
Kal Penn: Did you say “serf”? I got to use that. I think when you’re eating and stuff, especially if you’re with family or close friends, and somebody yells, “Hey, Kumar!” I feel like they immediately feel retarded after it…and I hope that they do. [Laughs.]
John Cho: By the way, 50 percent of the time I get “Yo, Kumar!”
Kal Penn: Well, I get that, too. [Funny voice,] “Hey, Harollllld! What’s up?! Where’s your friend at?”
John Cho: [Funny voice] “I love your movie. Who was you? Harold or Kumar?”
Ashanti from (All Hip Hop .Com)
Peep pics from her Maxim shoot and press shoot! (For the rest of the pics, go to the Ill Community.)
Is this your kid?
A 13 year old boy from Texas is convicted of fraud after using his Father’s credit cards to hire escorts.
A 13 year old from Texas who stole his Dad’s credit card and ordered two hookers from an escort agency, has today been convicted of fraud and given a three year community order.
Ralph Hardy, a 13 year old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra credit card from his father’s existing credit card company, and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing “Halo” on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel.
The credit card company involved said it was regular practice to send extra credit cards out as long as all security questions are answered.
The escort girls who were released without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.
Police said they were alerted to the motel by a concerned delivery clerk, whom after delivering supplies of Dr Pepper, Fritos and Oreos had been asked by the kids where they could score some chicks and were willing to pay. They explained they had just made a big score at a “World of Warcraft” tournament and wanted to get some relaxation. On noting the boys age the delivery clerk informed the authorities.
When police arrived at the motel they found $3,000 in cash, numerous electronic gadgets, an Xbox video console with numerous games, and the two local escort girls.
Ralph had reportedly told police that his father wouldn’t mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present. The father, a lawyer said he had been too busy, but would take him on a surprise trip to Disneyland instead.
Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a “World of Warcraft” tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.
The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played “Halo” on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services.
Ralph’s ambition is to one day become a politician.
I want my site to be like Complex.com
Will Ferrell VS Andre 3000
What You know ‘Bout Me?
Will Ferrell and Andre 3000 square off in a Trivia battle about each other.1. Andre, which movie did Will Ferrell NOT perform in?
a) Wedding Crashers
b) Kingpin
c) Dodgeball
d) Austin Powers
Andre 3000: Dodgeball.
Will Ferrell: Really?
Didn’t you yell something from off-screen in Kingpin?
Will Ferrell: Uh, not that I know of.
…and this question has been negated due to faulty information! [Laughter.]
2. Which one of these is an OutKast album?
a) The Deebo Placebo
b) Maggot Funk
c) Aquemini
d) No Taxation Without Rapresentation
Will Ferrell: Shitballs!
No, that’s the remixes collection.
Will Ferrell: No Taxation?
Andre 3000: I don’t know those other ones.
Oh, I made those up. [Laughter.]
3. Which movie starring Will Ferrell grossed the most?
Andre 3000: Elf.
Will Ferrell: Wow. Good!
4. Who sued OutKast for using her name as a song title?
Will Ferrell: No multiple choice? Come on, man!
a) Mother Teresa
b) Leona Helmsley
c) Rosa Parks
d) Condoleezza Rice
Will Ferrell: Definitely not Mother Teresa. I’m gonna say Helmsley.
5. What is Will’s middle name?
Andre 3000: Fuckin’ Funny Ass. [Laughter.]
6. What band did Will’s father play saxophone and keyboards for?
Andre 3000: Oh shit, I said, “What’s up” to his dad, too!
7. In 2004, Andre was named sexiest what of the year?
Will Ferrell: Man?
Andre 3000: Vegetarian.
Will Ferrell: Really?
8. Which of Andre’s rap aliases is tagged to his futuristic style?
Will Ferrell: 3000. What are your other nicknames?
Andre 3000: Possum Aloysius Jenkins. Dookie Blossomgame. Sir Benjamin Andre.
Cupid Valentino!
Will Ferrell: [Laughs.]
Answers - 1) c; 2) c; 3) Elf; 4) c; 5) William; 6) The Righteous Brothers; 7) Vegetarian; 8) 3000
FINAL SCORE: Andre 2, Will 1
White men can’t jump, but they look funny as shit in some short-ass pants. The stars of Semi-Pro, Will Ferrell and Andre “3000” Benjamin, talk about ad-libs, critics and groupies.
My #1 Show 30 Rock
JUDAH FRIEDLANDER
The stand-up comic and 30 Rock star is the world champion of life advice.
As told to Justin Monroe
1. Embrace hairiness.
If you’re hairy, don’t hide it. Guys are supposed to be hairy. It’s testosterone, dude. I started shaving when I was 9, and by that night it came in full. There’s nothing wrong with back hair, either. I’ve actually fucked a couple of wolf girls that kinda dug it.
2. Share the stage.
I don’t find it difficult to work with lesser talents because my level always brings theirs up. Like Alec Baldwin’s been in this business for years, he’s paid his dues. With 30 Rock, he’s finally gotten the chance to work with me, so I couldn’t be happier for the guy.
3. Step out of your comfort zone.
Sometimes people ask me, “Are you playing yourself?” And I’m like, “Are you fucking kidding me?” The 30 Rock role couldn’t be further from what I’m really like. In the business that’s what they call “range.” I’m just a natural talent. I played a retarded guy, for lack of a better term, on Curb Your Enthusiasm. And I wore my own clothes. I said to Larry David, “Do I need to get wardrobe?” And he’s like, “No, no, no, what you have on is fine.”
4. Give back(shots).
I’m all about charity work, but I don’t have to brag about it like all these other celebrities. I mean, the other day, I fucked 40 chicks, and it was all for charity. All of the proceeds went to benefit women with low self-esteem.
5. Go hard or go home.
In 6th grade, I decided to check out a martial arts lesson. I actually killed the sensei right in class. He was like a fourth degree black belt, so that automatically brought me up to fifth degree. Now I’m an extra-dark-black belt, to about the twelfth power. Actually, Bloodsport was based on my life. Not the original, but the fourth one.
Why?
TRACY MORGAN
Five contradictions in the life of Tracy Morgan.
1. Saturday Night Live was like the biggest thing that ever happened to me. It put me on the national stage and gave my kids the opportunity to live in better neighborhoods…
But people [who’ve been on the show] talk bad about [SNL] because they had too many expectations. It’s too easy to blame Saturday Night Live ‘cause your career ain’t turn out the way you wanted it to.2. I think people loved The Tracy Morgan Show, and it was critically acclaimed…
But they had us up against American Idol, which is a juggernaut. Nothing is surviving against that.3. People think we’re making fun of Martin Lawrence on 30 Rock. They act like he cornered the market on meltdowns…
But do you know how many motherfuckers have meltdowns in the ghetto? I did that shit based on my father. He tried to jump off the roof twice. When I was six years old, he was on dust, running down the street with no drawers on with a frying pan in his hand wearing a crash helmet.4. Having groupies is lovely…
But I’m strong. I’ve been married for 21 years. My wife gives me 80 percent, which is the spiritual, mental, cooking, cleaning, and being there for me. A groupie chick only gives me 20 percent, which is the pussy. I’m not going to trade in 80 percent for 20 percent. Does that sound smart to you? Sex sells, but so does crack.5. I love being able to make millions of people laugh and feel good…
But sometimes people want to push your buttons, and I bark on cats. I was having dinner with my wife and kids, and a drunk guy came over and said something to my wife. So I punched him in the motherfucking face.Home » CELEBRITIES » My Complex » My Complex: Tracy Morgan
Tip of the Day
How to Brush Your Pet’s Teeth
- Choose a time when both you and your pet will be relaxed.
- Choose a brush that is appropriate for your pet’s size. Be sure the brush is a soft-bristled one.
- Select a comfortable position. You may want the pet in your lap, on the floor or on a table. Some people put the animal in the bathtub or on a towel on the bathroom floor.
- Apply toothpaste to the brush. Remember never to use human toothpaste, because it can make your pet sick!
- Using slow, circular strokes along the teeth and gumline, gently clean each quadrant — top and bottom, left and right — a few seconds each, reapplying the toothpaste in between each quadrant.
- Focus on massaging the gum line with an emphasis on the downward stroke.
- Praise your pet with lots of love and give him a treat for a job well done!
Lost luggage in Las Vegas
By Christopher Elliott
Tribune Media Services
(Tribune Media Services) — On a nonstop flight to Las Vegas, Spirit Airlines loses Michael Germano’s checked luggage. He files a missing luggage report and a lost luggage claim, but the airline is ignoring his requests for compensation. What’s going on, and how can Germano get Spirit to respond?
Q: I need your help. Spirit Airlines lost my luggage and won’t replace it. I flew from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, to Las Vegas almost six months ago, and my checked bags disappeared.
The airline has been uncooperative and difficult to contact. I filed a claim when my bags didn’t show up in Las Vegas. My travel insurance company, Travel Guard, also got them to send me claim forms. But Spirit won’t return my calls, and my e-mails just get an automated response. Its online tracking system has no record of my luggage claim.
I went to Spirit’s corporate headquarters in Miramar, Florida, but their lobby is “self-service” and has a sign that boasts it “saves two cents” by having a phone on a desk instead of a receptionist.
I finally got through to someone on the phone who told me to expect a refund soon. But that was more than a month ago, and I still don’t have anything. I think Spirit is avoiding me. How can I get it to compensate me for my luggage?
— Michael Germano, Palm Beach, Florida
Don’t Miss
A: Spirit should have settled your claim quickly. The airline promises it will handle lost luggage claims two weeks to a month after receiving your claim and conducting a secondary trace.
But did it ever receive your claims? Yes and no. I checked with Spirit and it says it got your claim, but not within 30 days of your flight, as it requires. That would explain why there was no record of your problem. The airline didn’t process your paperwork.
When you filed your initial lost luggage claim at the airport, you didn’t deal with a Spirit employee. Spirit outsourced some of its baggage claim operations in Las Vegas at the time of your flight. To me, that would have sent up a red flag that you needed to follow up with the airline as soon as possible — certainly within 24 hours — to ensure Spirit knows your luggage is lost.
Buying travel insurance wasn’t a bad idea, but your insurance company should have done more than ask Spirit to send you another claim form. I think you could have leaned on Travel Guard a little more to get an answer from Spirit, and if the answer was “no,” to process an insurance claim promptly — assuming your policy covered lost luggage.
I would have also contacted Travel Guard as soon as your luggage vanished. Every Travel Guard policy comes with a “24-hour ‘911’ travel emergency service” to help passengers with, among other things, lost luggage tracking.
You aren’t the only one who has had trouble with contacting Spirit. The sign you saw in the lobby of its headquarters might as well be its corporate mission statement, according to many passengers I’ve spoken with. Spirit’s customer service department is described as difficult to reach by phone, it is fond of sending form letters to its customers and reluctant to pay refunds or compensate its passengers for inconveniences.
I’m not as baffled by Spirit’s refusal to process your claim as I am by its ability to lose your luggage — permanently — on a nonstop flight. How did it do that? Usually it takes a connection or two, and most lost bags are eventually recovered.
But the airline isn’t completely indifferent to the experiences of its passengers or their luggage. After I contacted Spirit, it agreed to make an exception to its 30-day rule and processed your claim. The airline sent you a check for $300 to cover your losses.
8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage
By Ylonda Gault Caviness“…And they lived happily ever after.” You’re smart. You know life is no storybook. But admit it: Somewhere deep in your subconscious lurk romantic visions of Cinderella, or maybe Julia Roberts. The images may be sketchy and a little outdated, but you can still make out the silhouette of the bride and Prince Charming riding off into the sunset.
In real life, sometimes your Disney fairy tale ends up feeling more like a Wes Craven horror flick — and you’re the chick who keeps falling down and screaming for her life. I’ve been there.
Let’s face it, marriage is not for the faint of heart. You want to believe your pure love for each other will pull you through. And it does. But it ain’t always pretty.
That may sound grim. But here’s a secret: Sometimes it’s the least romantic parts of marriage that have the most to teach you about yourself, your partner, and the nature of love. Read on for some simple truths that will unlock the surprising treasures and pleasures in your imperfect, unstorybook, real-life love.
1. You will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever?
When you get married, you think that as long as you pick the right guy — your soul mate — you’ll be happy together until death do you part. Then you wake up one day and realize that no matter how great he is, he doesn’t make you happy every moment of every day. In fact, some days you might wonder why you were in such a hurry to get married in the first place. You think to yourself, This is so not what I signed up for.
Actually, it is. You just didn’t realize it the day you and your guy were cramming wedding cake into each other’s faces, clinking champagne glasses, and dancing the Electric Slide. Back then you had no idea that “for better and for worse” doesn’t kick in only when life hands you a tragedy. Your relationship mettle is, in fact, most tested on a daily basis, when the utter sameness of day-in/day-out togetherness can sometimes make you want to run for the hills.
That’s when the disappointment sneaks in, and maybe even a palpable sense of loneliness and grief. It’s not him. It’s just you, letting go of that sugarcoated fantasy of marriage that danced in your eyes the day you and your beloved posed in all those soft-focus wedding photos. You’re learning that marriage isn’t a destination; it’s a journey filled with equal parts excitement and tedium.
Waking up from a good dream to face the harsh morning daylight may not seem like a reason to celebrate. But trust me, it is. Because once you let go of all the hokey stories of eternal bliss, you find that the reality of marriage is far richer and more rewarding than you ever could have guessed. Hard, yes. Frustrating, yes. But full of its own powerful, quiet enchantments just the same, and that’s better than any fairy tale.
2. You’ll work harder than you ever imagined.
Early on, when people say, “Marriage takes work,” you assume “work” means being patient when he forgets to put down the toilet seat. In your naiveté, you think that you will struggle to accommodate some annoying habit, like persistent knuckle cracking or flatulence.
If only it were that easy. Human beings, you may have noticed, are not simple creatures. Your man has mysterious, unplumbed depths — and from where he sits, you’re pretty complicated, too. You have to learn each other the same way that you once learned earth science or world geography. And getting married doesn’t mean you’re done — it just means you’ve advanced to graduate-level studies. That’s because every time you think you’ve mastered the material, he’ll change a bit. And so will you. As two people grow and evolve, the real work of marriage is finding a way to relate to and nurture each other in the process.
“It’s like losing weight,” says Andrea Harden, 45, of Buffalo, NY. “You want it to be a one-time deal. You lost it, now just live. But then you learn it’s a lifestyle. That’s marriage. The effort is a forever thing.” So don’t be too hard on yourself — or him — on those days when you feel like you’re struggling through remedial math.
3. You will sometimes go to bed mad (and maybe even wake up madder).
Whoever decided to tell newlyweds “Never go to bed angry” doesn’t know what it’s like inside a bedroom where tears and accusations fly as one spouse talks the other into a woozy stupor until night meets the dawn. If this scenario sounds familiar, I’ve got three words for you: Sleep on it.
You need to calm down. You need to gain perspective. You need to just give it a rest. I’ve found that an argument of any quality, like a fine wine, needs to breathe. A break in the action will help you figure out whether you’re angry, hurt, or both, and then pinpoint the exact source. Maybe the fight that seemed to erupt over the overflowing garbage can is really about feeling underappreciated. Could be you’re both stressed out at work and just needed to unload on someone. Taking a break will help you see that, and let go. Or maybe you really do have a legitimate disagreement to work out. Without a time-out, sometimes a perfectly good argument can turn into an endless round of silly back-and-forth, rehashing old and irrelevant transgressions as you get more and more wound up.
Even when you do manage to stay focused and on topic, there are some fights that stubbornly refuse to die by bedtime. And if you stifle your real feelings just to meet some arbitrary deadline, your marriage will surely be the worse for it. “This was a huge lesson for me,” says Andrea. “As women we’ve been trained to make nice. But the whole kiss-and-make-up thing just to keep the peace was eating me up inside. I’d let things build up inside me until I just exploded. Now I wait a while to get hold of myself — let the emotions settle a bit — and state my position. Even if that means reopening the fight the next day.”
4. You will go without sex — sometimes for a long time — and that’s okay.
There are few men in the Western world sexier than my husband. And I don’t say this because I know he may read this article. I’ve seen women checking him out when they think I’m not looking. (Honestly, ladies, you don’t have to sneak a peek. I don’t mind if you stare.) That said, there are times that I just don’t feel like having sex — often for reasons that have nothing to do with Genoveso. (See? Even his name is sexy.) I can’t lie and say this is always okay with him. But the fact is, there are also plenty of nights when he’s not in the mood. So maybe a few days go by when we don’t do it. And then a few more. And….
Sexless periods are a natural part of married life. A dry spell isn’t a sign that you’ve lost your mojo or that you’ll never have sex again. It just means that maybe this week, sleep is more important than sex. (I don’t know about you, but between work, 3 a.m. feedings, the PTA, soccer, T-ball, and everything else, I sometimes crave sleep the way a pimply, hormonal adolescent longs to cop a feel.)
And don’t kid yourself; no one in America is doing it as often as popular culture would have you believe. Instead of worrying about how much you think you “should” be having sex, keep the focus on figuring out your own rhythm. “I used to think, What’s happened to us? We always used to be in the mood,” says 35-year-old Kim Henderson of Oakland, CA, who’s been married for five years. “Now I know better. Life happens. My husband just started a new job. He has a long commute, and we have two small children. I think we’re good.”
The key is to make sure that even if you’re not doing “it,” you’re still doing something-touching, kissing, hugging. Personally, my heart gets warm and mushy when my husband rubs my feet after a long, tiring day. He may not be anywhere near my G-spot, but that little bit of touch and attention keeps us connected even when we’re not having spine-tingling sex.
5. Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.
I can be a bit of a know-it-all. There, I said it. It’s really not my intention to be hurtful or brash with people I love. It’s just that a lifetime of experience has taught me that in most areas, at most times, I am right about most things. What shocked me several years into my marriage, though, was the realization that the more “right” I was, the more discontented my husband and I were as a couple. See, oddly enough, throughout his life Genoveso has been under the misguided impression that he’s right most of the time (go figure!). So we’d lock horns — often. That is, until I learned a few things.
Namely, that when it comes to certain disagreements, there is no right or wrong — there is simply your way of looking at things and your husband’s. “I used to be very black-and-white earlier in our marriage,” says Lindy Vincent, 38, who lives in Minneapolis. “Now I see that I’m not all right and my husband is not all wrong. There’s more gray in life than I thought, and that’s taught me patience and the value of compromise.”
The more I get to know and appreciate my husband for who he is, the more I respect his positions. That doesn’t mean I always agree with him. But I can see the value in striking a balance that satisfies us both. And instead of harping on how wrong he is, I can usually swallow the verbal vitriol and simply say something like, “I see your point” or “I hadn’t considered that.” After I sincerely acknowledge his view, it seems to become easier for him to hear mine. And because I know I’m being heard, most of the time now, I don’t even want to prove how right I am anymore. Funny how that works, isn’t it?
6. A great marriage doesn’t mean no conflict; it simply means a couple keeps trying to get it right.
Maybe you think that because of my newfound wisdom, Genoveso and I never fight anymore. Ha! As important as it is to strike a balance, it’s also important to have a big, fat fight every now and then. Because when you fight, you don’t just raise your voices; you raise real — sometimes buried — issues that challenge you to come to a clearer understanding of you, your man, and your relationship. I wouldn’t give up our fights for anything in the world, because I know in the end they won’t break us; they’ll only make us stronger.
7. You’ll realize that you can only change yourself.
Ever seen the ’80s sci-fi cult classic Making Mr. Right? When the stylish heroine, played by Ann Magnuson, is hired to teach a robot how to act like a human, she seizes the chance to create a perfect guy. A hotshot commercial whiz, she uses her marketing prowess to shape John Malkovich’s android character into her personal version of the ideal man — sensitive, eager to please, and willing to listen.
There is a bit of that makeover fantasy in all of us — something that makes us believe we can change the person we love, make him just a little bit closer to perfect. We may use support and empathy or shouts and ultimatums, but with dogged conviction we take on this huge responsibility, convinced we’re doing the right thing.
Whatever our motives, the effort is exhausting. Transforming a full-grown man — stripping him of decades-old habits, beliefs, and idiosyncrasies — is truly an impossible task. And you will come to realize, sooner than later if you’re lucky, that it is far easier to change the way you respond to him.
Here’s a perfect case in point: “I used to go off on my husband because he didn’t empty the sink trap when he cleaned the kitchen,” says Kimberly Seals Allers, 36, of Bay Shore, NY. “It got me nowhere; my rants only made him resentful. Now I come home and when the kitchen looks clean, I’m like, ‘Cool, now all I have to do is empty the sink trap.’”
8. As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what you’re really made of.
I’ve got issues. Trust issues. Control issues. And others, I’m sure, that I’ve yet to fully discover. I guess I’ve always known I wasn’t perfect. But in more than a decade of marriage, I’ve been smacked upside the head with the cold, hard evidence.
There were clues when Genoveso and I were dating, especially with the trust thing. Early on, I was supersuspicious of him. He used to say things like, “I’ll call you at 8.” Then, just to try to trip me up, he’d call at 8. I knew he was up to something, I just couldn’t figure out what. The same kinds of experiences followed after the wedding. Except occasionally he would actually mess up. And I had no sense of scale when it came to rating his offenses; everything was a major violation. Whether he teased me about a new haircut or came home late, I seethed for days and even let thoughts of divorce creep into my head. I figured, if he loved me — really and truly — this stuff wouldn’t happen.
I’d like to be able to say that this irrational behavior lasted only a few months and I eventually worked it out. Kind of, sort of, is closer to the truth. After years of looking deeply into my soul and talking to good friends and the best sister a girl could ever have, I’ve come to recognize certain things about myself. Not to get all Dr. Phil about it, but I’ve had to examine my history with an emotionally distant dad and a strong-willed mom and face up to all the ways, both good and bad, that those relationships have affected how I approach my marriage.
I still struggle as a work in progress. But I am completely clear in the knowledge that many of the deepest frustrations in your relationship are an opportunity for you to confront yourself. That can be difficult to accept — after all, it’s so much more comforting to keep a running tab of your hubby’s deficits and tell yourself that his failings are the only thing standing between you and a better marriage. But if you let it, this bumpy journey toward self-awareness can be one of the more fulfilling rewards of a committed, long-term relationship — you’ll learn to love your quirks and be compassionate toward yourself, just as you’re learning to do with him.
That’s the strange beauty of marriage: It’s full of hard times and hard lessons that no one can ever prepare you for. But in the end, those are the things that give richness to your life together — and make your love even deeper and stronger than when it began.
How to Ungoogle Yourself
Do unflattering photos or embarrassing blog postings pop up when someone Googles your name? Or are you concerned about your privacy in this new digital age? With Google’s excellent indexing of the Internet, the reality is that friends, family members and employers can find out more information about you than you potentially want them to, just by “Googling” your full name. Here are a few ways of getting out of this situation.
Steps
- Stop using your full name. The best way to “ungoogle” yourself is to not offer your full name or abbreviate your last name when signing up for online accounts, posting from your blog, or attaching yourself to any content that’s published on the Internet. You can also create an online pen name or a screen name to go by.
- Google yourself to find out what other people are seeing when they search your name. If you have a common name, it’s possible that you’ll be buried in the search results with all the other “Sarah Smiths” or “Chris Johnsons” in the world. Don’t forget to search your name with quotation marks around it, as well as variations that include your middle name or initial.
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Be careful what you put in blogs - you may get people other than your intended audience reading it Make changes to the content that’s already been indexed by Google with your name on it. Change your name on public profiles that contain your name, such as blogs or social website accounts. Delete any accounts you might no longer use or might contain compromising or personal information. - Consider using the “robots” HTML meta tag in your content if you want to continue publishing information under your name but don’t want it appearing in Google search results: This only applies if you have your own website and access to the underlying code, as it stops most search engines from indexing (cataloging) your page or following the links on it. The tag must go in the section of a document in order to work. If you like, you can leave out the “nofollow” bit, which allows the search engines to follow the links, but not index the page. The reverse is also possible.
- E-mail the person responsible for a site that you don’t directly control and politely ask either to have the content removed or your name changed or obscured. Politely explain your situation, and don’t make empty threats about legal action. Just be nice and it shouldn’t be a problem.
- Bury the content you don’t want to be found by adding new content or moving existing websites higher up in search results for your name. Most Internet users don’t continue browsing past the first 50 search results, so join a mailing list that’s frequently indexed in Google or sign up for some websites that will eventually index your name.
Tips
- Learn to view the search results with your name through the eyes of a potential employer. It’s been observed that the majority of executive recruiters routinely look into candidates by searching the Internet (according to a survey by ExecuNet, source).
- If someone else has the same name as you do and you worry about it tarnishing your reputation, or you weren’t successful in removing embarrassing links to your name, you may want to consider using a middle initial or including your full middle name, both when you’re active online and on your resume.
- In addition to not using your full name online, you should also not use the same e-mail address that you do professionally. Recruiters may search for your e-mail address right after searching for your name.
- There are also services, some free and some paid, which will help clear your name in search results for you (e.g. Ziki, LinkedIn).
- Some employers will include employee names and pictures on their websites. Ask your employer to use only part of your name or a nickname on the website. If you are to leave, ask them to promptly update the website to omit your information.
- Use Google’s removal request tool to ask Google to remove search results or cached content.
